If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
whose parrot is this?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
