Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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