Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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