Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
