It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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