just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
