I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
