You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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