Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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