I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
