I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
