whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
