i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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