he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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