i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
