i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
