the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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