Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
