So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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