i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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