Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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