Buhtt sex?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
