If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
