Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
