i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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