He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
