We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
