This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
