stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize