So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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