you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
