the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
