Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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