she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I have already put on my inside pants.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
