i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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