Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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