i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
