Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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