Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
