grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
