How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
