you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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