So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Found your dick twin last night
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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