OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Ambien. No doubt about it.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize