So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
