Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
