I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
