there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
P.S. I can't hear my feet
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
