so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize