I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
