she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize