Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
