it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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