i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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