So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
