My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
