i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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