Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
When are your genitals available?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
