If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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