Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I have fence marks all over my body
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
