Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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