Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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