If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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