Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
