doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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