And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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